Hey friends! Welcome to How Leaders Replenish. 

Have you ever asked yourself when you are facing a decision, “am I doing the right thing here?” 

I know I’ve asked myself that question many, many times, whether it was years ago in dating situations, or career choices and investments, or even parenting things now as a mom. 

That seems to be a question that we will face all throughout life. Am I doing the right thing? How do I know I’m making the right choice? 

Today, I was thinking about that because I find that sometimes when I have big decisions to make, they’re at a point in my life where they can cause me mental exhaustion if I allow them to. What are some ways that I can see in retrospect that I made the right decision, and how did I come to those right choices? I want to share six of those things with you today. Six ways to help you make the right choice when that choice could be a game changer.

Number 1: Don’t rush a “yes.”

I find that when I’ve said yes under pressure to things, and my husband Shaun would totally agree on this one, I often made the wrong choice. In fact, Shaun and I now have a policy that we learned to implement the hard way. During the two weeks before we have a major event in our church or in our life we don’t say yes to any medium or large decisions. Like I said, we learned this one the hard way. Whenever we’ve had a big event going on at the church, which has usually included a guest speaker flying in and a number of things going on in conjunction, we would also always have some big decision thrown at us somewhere along the line.

We had all these decisions to make or things that were keeping us occupied with our time before this big event, and then all of a sudden something would come up and someone would say, “we need an answer to this right away!” Some of them were just absolutely crazy things out of the blue.

But I find that often it’s the adversary trying to push you into making a wrong choice when it has to be made on the spot. So the one thing we’ve learned is no big choices before an event. Don’t rush a yes until you’ve really taken time to get clarity from God in prayer. Usually you need quiet time for that. So if it’s the right thing today, we found that it will usually still be the right thing four weeks from now. Not always, but usually. 

I realize you can maybe miss making a great investment decision or something like that, but you know what? I would rather say no and miss an opportunity than fall into the wrong thing just because it felt like an urgent decision. I have multiple extremely successful business friends, and one of them always says to us, “remember, for every great opportunity that comes along and seems like you have to make the decision today, there will be 20 more down the road, because there are always going to be great opportunities coming your way.” So, in my opinion, don’t worry about saying no to something if it’s a forced decision that you have to make right this instant, because often that pressure can cause you to make the wrong choice. 

Number 2: Say something out loud to get yourself into the right spiritual and mental place. 

“God loves me and wants to help me.” That’s one I love. “God loves me and wants to help me.” I’ll repeat that over and over to keep it fresh in my heart and mind. There may also be scriptures that you meditate about taking the right path in life. Things that help you get in that right spiritual place so that you’re better equipped make the right decision.

Number 3: Make a pros and cons list. 

Now some people may disagree with this one. I’ve heard some people say not to make a pros and cons list because you just need to be led by the Holy Spirit. I totally agree that you need to be led by the Holy Spirit, but one thing that I have found is that the Holy Spirit often leads me through the use of those lists. And this may sound strange, but I don’t always go with the choice that has the most pros when I make a pros and cons list. 

As I’m writing them, I just start to recognize what’s more important to me. For example, there’ve been numerous times when Shaun and I have made a pros and cons list for something, but before we do, we always pray for God’s help. And as you probably know if you’ve listened to this podcast before, my husband and I are both pastors and we always try to put God first in our decision making. We pray for God’s help and we pray that God will show us what is the most important in His eyes. We pray that He’ll help us to see really the end from the beginning—to really see what the outcome is before we’re ever going to get there. 

You know, there have been times when the right thing has had more pros than the other option. Yet there have also been some times when the right thing to do had fewer pros, but those fewer things resonated so much in our hearts that when we saw them on paper and prayed over them we just knew it was the right thing for us. 

Do you know what I’m saying? Sometimes when you write something down, especially if you’re a visual person (I’m a very visual person), all of a sudden, even if there are fewer pros, it just may resonate so much in your heart that it becomes the clear decision. Then in the days to come, keep looking at that list and praying over it, and God will confirm it.

Shaun and I have done this for a number of career choices in the past years. We’ve done it for housing. We’ve done it for where to live and where to move. And oftentimes, the one thing that seems right does have the most pros with it, but not always, I’ll just say that. So make sure you’re just being led by the Holy Spirit in that. But if you’re a visual person, like I am, it can really help you as you’re praying to look at it. And then you kind of feel your heart. The more you pray and more you meditate scripture, you will feel your heart pulling more towards certain things that are a priority to God. 

Number 4: Talk to someone who is both a great decision maker and successful in the area that your decision is in. 

Ask them what they would do if they were in your shoes. That’s a great question to ask someone more experienced than yourself. So many people go to others for help in areas that aren’t that person’s area of expertise, and that always baffles me. I don’t understand why anyone would go to someone for advice in an area that they aren’t excelling in. In fact, I have a good friend who is just crazy successful in business, but she also went through a divorce a number of years ago. She said to me, “Amy, it absolutely amazed me when I was going through my divorce. So many people came to me and asked for relationship advice.” She said, “I just don’t even compute what they’re thinking. Why would they come to me for marriage advice when I’m going through the middle of a divorce? Obviously, I didn’t get things right. I’m not the person to ask! Ask me about business, but not about relationships!” And that’s so true! When looking for advice, always go to someone that you would be willing to trade places with them in that specific area of life. 

Additionally, I would ask more than one person, if you have more than one person who is very good in that area. Oftentimes getting two or three people that you would trade places with because they’re so gifted in that area is the best way to go. That helps add wisdom and insight to the different things that you need to know. 

Number 5: Pray for wisdom. 

I love Proverbs 2:6-11. It says, “for the Lord grants wisdom. From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with the integrity. He guards the path of the just and protects those who are faithful to Him.” Verse nine says, “then you will understand what is right, just, and fair.” Don’t you want to know what is the right thing to do? What the just thing is to do? Then it goes on to say, “and you will find the right way to go.” That’s what we’re looking for. We want to know what the right way is. It’s going to have the right outcome in the end. It continues to say, “for wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.”

This is what I did years ago before I met my husband Shaun. I was dating someone that I had dated for I think about four years. He was a great guy and everything, but the longer I dated him, the more it didn’t seem like he was the right one for me. I knew he was the right one for someone, but he just didn’t seem like the right one for me. I remember going to a friend of mine because I really admired her marriage. I was talking to her one day and I said, “you know, I’ve been dating this guy for almost four years and he is a really great guy, but he just doesn’t seem like the right one for me. And when I think about him it just doesn’t resonate in my heart that this is who I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with. But I just feel like I would be throwing away the last four years of my life if I stopped dating him now.”

My friend she wisely said to me, “Amy, I want you to realize something. You will know the right person better in four months than you’ll know the wrong person in four years.” That was such a word of wisdom for me! Oftentimes I think people may be dating out of comfort, like they’ve been in the relationship for a while, but by the six month, or maybe nine month point, a lot of times people will just know if someone’s not the right one, but they just stay in the relationship because they want to be in a relationship. They’re comfortable in it, but they aren’t called to that relationship. 

That’s really how I would describe that old relationship. I didn’t feel called to it, I was just comfortable in it. So my friend’s word of advice was incredibly impactful and helpful. It gave me the courage to step out of that relationship. I eventually started dating Shaun and I’m now married to him, and I am so thankful that my friend gave me that great advice!

So I kind of blended 4 and 5 together, by talking to someone who is a great decision maker while also praying for wisdom. Sometimes those two go hand in hand, but always be praying for wisdom. That’s a great thing to do daily. 

Finally, number 6: Say both options out loud multiple times.

I will do this frequently and then I’ll listen to my heart after each one to see if it bears witness in my spirit on the inside. 

For example, if years ago, let’s say I was considering a career change, and I was thinking about working at a college versus working at a different type of school. I might say to myself, “I’m taking the job at the college,” and then I’d stop and listen. Then I might say, “I’m taking the job at the school,” and then stop and listen. I might say that back and forth and back and forth a few times, just to see if there’s any “yes” or any “no” in my spirit toward either option. I might do that for several days, just to see if I get any witness. 

There’s a pastor that we heard speak a number of years ago, and he shared that he knew of a man who was an amazing investor back in the 1940s. The man had never lost money in the stock market, and he said that this guy was actually a multimillionaire in the 1940s, which was a ton of money back then. This man would go sit in his closet and go into prayer while meditating scripture. He would usually meditate Psalm 32:8 which says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will guide you with my eye.” He would meditate that verse over each investment decision that he had to make and that he had an opportunity for, and he said that he would take up to three days to decide. Sometimes he would go into prayer thinking he’d for sure invest in something, but then as he prayed and meditated he would start having this clear thought, “this just doesn’t seem right.”

He said that occasionally there were other times that he’d go into prayer thinking, “this will for sure be a yes. I know God is going to give a yes on this one.” But then the more he prayed, and the more he think on that scripture, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will guide you with my eye,” he would get a clear, “no, this isn’t right to do. Don’t do this one.” And he said that through this process it would take one to three days. Sometimes it would be a short amount of time and he’d have a yes. Sometimes he said he’d be in there up to three days and he would just get this clarity and know what the right thing was to do. 

And you know, I think a lot of times the reason we don’t get clarity on decisions in our life is that we don’t really give it the quality time that it needs for us to pray over it, to meditate scripture over it, and to really take time to think and ask for the Lord’s help and wisdom with it. So I want to encourage you when you have big decisions to make, make sure you give it enough prayer time and enough time to really think it through, asking God for help and believing that He will help you in those right decisions.

So back to our question that I asked in the beginning: Are you doing the right thing? 

I trust as you apply some of these things that I just shared that they will help you like they’ve helped me in the past and still help me today. And remember, God loves you, He is for you, and He has wisdom for you when you ask for it. 

I love Matthew 7:7-8. It says, “ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it’s going to be opened.” It’s kind of a succession. You look at the situation, you’re asking for wisdom, and then you seek for the right answer. 

You ask the question, “what should I do in this” and then you’re seeking God’s voice. You’re knocking. You just keep pressing in. “Lord, I believe you’re answering my question here and that You have the right answer for me because You know the end, even here at the beginning. You know what the outcome is going to be, and I want to be on board with You, hearing what Your direction is, because I want the outcome that is going to have success at the end of it.” 

And that doesn’t mean it was going to be an easy journey. I want to say that there are often mountains to climb and valleys to go through along the way, but God knows which way holds the right outcome in the end. And we want to take that right path from the beginning as much as possible. So you’re asking, you’re seeking, you’re knocking, and then you’re finding.

It’s so good to just take that time to get clarity from God. So I hope this helps you today, and I pray that you find and recognize the right things that God has for you on your journey in life so that you can become all that you’re called to be and be that blessing to others that God has made you to be! I pray that you do that from a refreshed and a refueled place on the inside, my friends. 

Have a wonderful, prolific week, and thank you so much for being with me today!